“Because you finish what you start, I will trust YOU in the process.”
Wow! That is the only word that I can whisper, scream, or shout these days. I say “Wow!” for several reasons. One of the main reasons is that I could have never imagined that I would be where I am now. God made some promises to me, and honestly, I reached a point where I did not know if I could trust Him! Yeap, I said it. I had ultimate trust issues. I couldn’t trust the one who knew it all. However, those trust issues were rooted in me not trusting myself. I realized that mistrust started with me not trusting my ability to do what God wanted me to do to fulfill His promises.
However, God had already equipped me with what I needed to make it through this journey. It had to start with acceptance and submission. I had to accept that God had called me to do something and that everything in my life leads to that moment. He has prepared me for this moment since the days before I was born. I also had to submit to the process, and let God do His work. I had to trust Him. I had to know that if I stuck with his will, I would make it and become better than who I was before
The root of these trust issues came from a spirit of failure, comparison, and doubt. When you look at others to determine how far along you are, you will always be discouraged. Why? Because they are not living your journey and following their trajectory will cause you to waste too much time going down a journey that never belonged to you. I had to realize that if I want some comparison, I need to focus on myself. I need to examine who I am now, who I was, and who God says I am. Because I am the only one who will go down this journey that God meant for me. That means my growth is measured off who I was and who I am becoming, not who Sally was and who Sally is becoming.
When I get discouraged, I have to TRUST GOD IN THE PROCESS. When He tells me to go left, it is for a reason. When He tells me to stop, it is for a reason. When He tells me I can do more, He knows I can. When God told me to apply to the PhD in nursing program, I was immediately ridden with “Why God?” This was not MY plan. How will I get accepted? I have to take the GRE. I am not ready. I only have a few months. How will I afford it? Now, that I am in the program on a full fellowship with a stipend, I still question things. Now its, Lord, how am I going to pass this class? Lord, why do I have to go through this? Maybe I am not meant for this. Lord, why am I struggling? Lord, why do I have to go through these hardships?
Now, there is one thing common with all of those statements, there are a whole lot of “I’s,” and there is a whole lot of questioning. See God is not letting me go alone on a journey He called me to go on. He is with me so those “I’s,” should be We. Why would I dare question the one who created my life and knows all? The “why’s” are the spoken form of mistrust. Deuteronomy 31:6 says “Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid or terrified because of them, for the Lord your God goes with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you.”
He will never leave you, nor forsake you. So TRUST HIM IN THE PROCESS. I have to make a choice daily to realize that God put me here for a reason, I have seen Him move in ways that I could never have dreamed or imagined. He has upheld every promise so far so I can believe that the promises that are still lingering will be answered.
Thanks for reading.
Remember to trust God more than yourself.